So this is something that’s been on my mind since earlier today. The way that relationships are going amongst teens and young adults isn’t right. I have to preface everything I’m about to say with: This doesn’t cover everyone. I know it isn’t like this for everyone. That being said, lets dive in a little deeper.
So relationships. What is a relationship? According to Webster: The way in which two or more concepts, objects, or people are connected, or the state of being connected. Ok so a relationship is a connection. Wait, so it isn’t making out? Or having sex? No, it isn’t! You can have countless relationships; your mom, your dad, your cat fluffy, the list goes on and on. So what starts a relationship?
Knowledge. Even when you are simply aquatinted with someone, you gain a super basic knowledge of that person. As a baby, you build a relationship with your parents based on knowledge! I’m sure if babies could talk, this is what they’d say, “Oh these are the weird funny looking people that feed me, change me, and make me happy! I think I’ll call them mom and dad!” (Ok so maybe not.) It is by knowledge that you build a relationship.
So lets discuss how many, not all, teens and young adults view “relationships”. It goes something like, “AH! HORMONES ARE RAGING! MUST GET GIRLFRIEND/BOYFRIEND!” Now, if a relationship is a connection, how is that right? That is pretty much just a superficial connection. So hormones have created a fake connection, and you start dating. Now what?
“SEX! I’ve gotta get laid!” Wrong again little Bobby! (Sorry if you’re reading this and your name is Bobby…) That’s your hormones talking again! So not only now have you created a fake connection, you’ve created a very real, very emotional connection, and all for what? The sake of allowing your hormones to take over?
Let us rewind now…….
Little Bobby likes Susie. Bobby and Susie have know each other for a long time, and they decide to date. There are two scenarios that can happen:
Bobby and Susie have been great friend forever, but they are at an age where their hormone levels are raging and the urges and temptations they are feeling are just to strong… They give in and start “dating.” In reality, they have a purely physical relationship; the connections are all physical. Susie realizes this, and ends things with Bobby. Bobby and Susie never talk again.
Susie realizes where she went wrong, corrects her mistakes, and her next boyfriend she actually got to know on a personal, non physical level before dating. They end up engaged and married. Little Bobby never learns from his mistakes and has 6 children from 3 mothers.
Bobby and Susie have been great friends forever. They both start feeling an attraction to one another, but rather than just jumping at each other, they start spending more time together, but just as friends. A few years passes by, and because he treated her with dignity, honor, and respect, Bobby and Susie have genuinely fallen in love, and they finally go on their first real date. Things go so well, that they decide to go on more dates, and eventually end up married.
By actually getting to know one another on more than just a physical level, Bobby as Susie are able to form a real, healthy relationship. As cliché as it is, they became best friends before they even started dating. Is that such a bad thing? By actually investing ,real, honest time into another person, you can learn so much about them. Maybe if this were true, 50% of all marriages would’t end in a divorce. Maybe, just maybe people could avoid so much heartache and heartbreak.
I know this is such a foreign concept to this culture and generation, but give it a try. What do you have to lose? Is it really that hard to just be sincere and genuine?
Just a note: This is just a general rant at the moment. I’m working on a more organized version that will deal specifically with various things